Agony
by Ashbadash
Summary: Without Bella, Edward is in constant agony. He's unable to even close his eyes with out seeing her face. Basically the end of New Moon from EPOV.
1. Prologue

**So basically this is the end of new moon: from Rosalie's phone, call through Italy, till the very end. All from Edward's point of view. The prologue is before Edward think's she's dead. I'm starting a little before that fateful phone call to set the tone of edward's emotions, which are a little different than normal. warning, he's pretty bi-polar in this story, but in a good way. The next chapter ch 1 starts with his reaction to the news of bella's death and his decision to go to Italy.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclamer:I don't own twilight...nuf said.**

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I was somewhere deep in an unknown forest, my back pressed against an enormous fir tree, still moist with dew. I deserved to be here, in the wilderness like the monster I _am. _The light filtering in through the tree tops barely missed my translucent skin. The forest was quiet; the only sound was a faded song from the flock of birds flying overhead. I was too far away from any civilization to have mindless human banter interrupt my meditation. This was how I preferred it anyway, someplace quiet and remote. Where I could sit and bask in her memory. The thought of her pale skin, her chocolate eyes, the intoxicating aroma that followed her. Her memory alone was enough to push my self control farther than ever, and make me tremor in horror at what I'd done. Horror at my stupidity and selfishness.

I am a _vile _being. Much more vile than Mike Newton could even _think _of being.

The vibration in my pocket broke me from my revere. My eyes flickered to the screen. Alice. She had been calling twice every hour for the past three days. So far I'd ignored her, but in my moment of weakness I answered. Hoping she would show me a new vision of Bella. Anything to get one more glimpse at her face.

I flipped open the phone holding it to my ear.

"Edward," Alice gasped before I had a chance to say anything. Her voice was barely audible even to me. She was clearly distraught.

"Edward what have you _done." _Her tone frightened me. "I've never seen anything like this before. She didn't get out of bed for a week, just laid there weeping." I heard Alice take a shaky breath.

"Even now she hardly moves. She hasn't spoken but a few words in weeks. Bella just moves around like a hollow shell. I'm scared, Edward. Please go back, I know you're not taking care of your self any better than she is. Please…I think Edward…I think your absence is killing her."

"She'll get over it."

"I apologize for showing you this." A new picture filtered through my brain, one of my sweet angel. But she didn't look right. She looked more frail and sickly than when I last saw her. A flash image of her lying on a bed, empty, hollow eyes staring blankly at me. Another flash; she was kneeled over on the ground convulsing with sobs. What scared most was her eyes; they looked soulless, red around the edges, lifeless, with dark circles underneath taking away from the beauty of her irises.

"Edward!" I heard Alice cry as I slammed the phone shut. A tremor of rage ripped through me. I stood and turned my head to the sky, emitting a loud, ghastly cry. The trees shook and birds took flight rapidly. I roared and ripped up all the surrounding vegetation. When all the living plants in my surrounding area were shredded at my feet I turned and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I kept running as fast as my inhuman body would move. I ran away from my family, away from my angel, and away from the darkest sin I had ever committed.

I opened my eyes; I could feel the vibrations of the phone across the moist ground. I wasn't positive of my new location, still in a forest. I could hear human thoughts much more clearly now, so I must be closer to a big city. I groped for the phone, searching for the source of the vibrations. My fingers found the smooth shivering object and I looked at the screen. Carlisle's number flashed on the front. I sighed, I couldn't ignore Carlisle.

"Hello."

"Edward," Carlisle's voice was stern, yet gentle. "I know you're hurting, Edward, I understand that. But what you did yesterday was careless and immature. The meteorologist can't understand how "A freak earth quake" destroyed _5 acres _of woodland without detection. _5 acres, _Edward. How you managed to tear 5 acres of trees in a matter of minutes is incredible. You're smarter than that Edward." I sighed blinking up at the dark star-lit sky, speckled with a few flickering stars.

"I know Carlisle, I apologize. I shouldn't allow myself to become so out of control." I heard a deep noise come from the other side of the connection. I knew I wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

"Edward…" he strained for words. "As much as I respect your decision to leave, I'm going to have to ask you to come home. You have had other careless incidents in the past months that cannot continue. This is hurting our whole family, especially Esme. She's grieving for you, and for Bella." I flinched when he said her name. The horrible new picture of her was still freshly embedded in my memory. I felt my temperature rise, I was livid with fury; my breathing came hard and fast.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that Carlisle. I'm sorry." I closed the phone and hurled it across the tress. My breathing slowed, _stop being immature. _Sighing, I sprinted off, catching the phone before it hit the ground.

I took my time walking back, going at what I called a "Bella pace." I closed my eyes, her soft pale face floated into the darkness of my head. I continued walking back, mulling over my only love's perfect body.

_I'm never going to see her again. _A hot pain seared through my torso.

_She'll get over this, she'll live a long happy life, get married and have a family. _

The pain in my chest, at the thought of her with another man intensified. I doubled over, unable to bear the pain ricocheting down my body. I was becoming weak without her. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away forever. Even if it meant visiting her while she slept. So she never knew I came. I wouldn't last a human lifetime much less eternity without her.

I was aware of what I would have to do once she left this earth. It pained me to think about the agony it would cause my family, leaving them because I couldn't live without a simple girl, but _my _girl. I can only hope they understand by then. A slow groan escaped my lips. I pinched the bridge of my nose with one hand and tore at my hair with the other.

Why is this so _damn _frustrating? I knew the answer. As much as it ashamed me to face the truth, I knew, _had _known since the beginning. I could never live without her. I closed my eyes and again her face appeared behind my lids.

I ripped my bag off the ground tearing off towards the foreign murmuring in the back of my mind. I couldn't stay here, alone with my memories. I had to go somewhere, closer to civilization. Hoping the thoughts of mindless humans, and the lust for blood would give me something to do besides think of her. Even though that was the only thing I wanted to do. I knew if all I did was sit in misery, I would succumb to my desires much too quickly. I had never been a weak man, but now, without her I felt irresolute, and more vulnerable than ever.

**There it is, please please review! I'm pretty much finished with chapter 1, but i want a little bit of feedback before I continue. Just to make sure it's not crap. Rant, rave, flame, whatever. Review please!**

**Ashley**


	2. The news

**okay here's chapter 1! The first few lines are from the new moon extra's piece "Rosalie's phone call" on Stephenie Meyer's web site. Enjoy!**

**Disclamer: nope, still didn't create twilight. **

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"_He's at the funeral," the boy finally answered._

_I shut the phone again._

I started shaking. I felt my self losing control; I leapt out the small attic window shattering the oval-shaped glass. My feet hit the pavement silently in the dark street. I was breathing heavily, my whole body shook. I slammed the cell phone in a nearby trash can before fleeing into the obscure woods. I had to remove myself from human presence before I ruined it all-- as I had come so close to doing so many times.

She can't be dead, she _cannot _be gone.

Wind howled in my ears, the sharp summer breeze nipped at my face. I pushed myself farther and faster, I felt it coming, once it hit I couldn't stop myself. I abruptly skidded to a stop, falling to the ground. My body convulsed with tearless sobs, my brain exploded with thoughts-- all of her. I gasped for breath, my throat felt like it was closing, and I thought my chest would cave in from weeping. I tore my hands into the ground.

My sweet angel is gone. _Forever. _All because of my one damned mistake.

I withered on the ground clutching my chest; I wanted to rip my body apart. I cursed myself for such foolish decisions. I moaned in distress. She _flung _herself off a cliff because she thought I didn't want her. _How_ could she not see through my lies? A lie all lies and she believed them. I thought by leaving she would be happier, deep down I knew she was just as tangled up in this as I am. At the time I could only see the pain I was causing her when I was with her, not the agony I would cause without her. I sat up, dry-heaving food that did not exist in my stomach.

I knew there was only one thing to do. Only one thing I could do, I would go to Italy. My brain slowly turned, tossing around the inevitable in my head. For as long as I'd loved her I'd known wouldn't live without her. Visiting the Volturi was my only choice. There was no looking back, no time for grieving. Heaving my body off the dirt I walked back into town, mentally collecting myself along the way.

I stopped at the first pay phone I saw and dialed zero

"Hello," A disgruntled sounding operator answered.

"I'm going to need the number for the nearest international airport."

--

"Sir Beef or chicken?"

"Neither", I grumbled at the flight attendant. I was already in a bad mood, and nothing was more annoying to me than flight attendants. Their too fake smiles always pestering me about closing my window shade or buying some tax-free cologne. I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. Only three more hours until the plane landed, then it would be over soon enough. Strangely I felt no fear in dying, just anxiety to end this life.

I might as well have killed her myself; all I wanted to do was keep her safe, now her blood is on my hands. I winced; my silent heart ached for her. My arms yearned to hold her once more. I tapped my fingers restlessly against the arm of the seat, causing the flight attendant to glare at me. I tried to pull my mind away from its impatience by thinking about my family. I probably should have said some sort of goodbye…it's too late now anywase. By the time they realize what's happened I'll be gone.

Suddenly horrible thought struck me. _Alice._ I groaned putting my head in my hands. How could I forget about Alice's visions. I quickly calculated it in my head; it was a much quicker plane ride from South America than it was from where she was. That would slow her down. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll go make sure Charlie's okay, that would give me even longer. I should have about a day, that's enough. The last thing I need is Alice and Emmet showing up in Italy endangering more lives at my hand. I shuddered. I leaned back in my seat and concentrated on the thoughts around me.

--

I stared up at the magnificent wall before me: Volterra. I'd been here once before, though not quite under the same circumstances. The city was unusually busy, people crammed into every corner, pushed up against each other like sardines. The heavy sent of blood was stronger than usual. I didn't struggle though. In the past year my self control had greatly improved. It's like I always tell myself, mind over matter. I pushed my way through the dense crowd in the main square. I approached a grand arc in the wall, with two huge glass doors. The main entrance to the Volturi's dark labyrinth. Taking a shaky breath I stepped out of the cloudy plaza and into the cool reception. The floral sent that greeted me reminded me so much of Bella I had to double check to make sure she wasn't in the room. I approached the tan lady sitting behind a large mahogany desk.

"Can I help you?" She blinked up at me with her green eyes. I tried to ignore her inappropriate thoughts.

"I'd like to meet with Aro and Marcus, please."

--

I stormed past Gianna, brushing off her questioning thoughts. The glass doors banged closed behind me, I was seething. The warm night air blew my hair across my face as I strode across the plaza.

How _dare _they deny me death! I come with one simple demand and they reject me out of respect for Carlisle. Well let's see how they like half the city going missing. Or maybe a killing spree through the street is more their taste.

I stopped; I knew I couldn't hurt anyone. I pinched the bridge of my nose, I have to make them angry enough to kill me. Maybe killing one of their own, like a guard? No their too well trained. Hell, I could just toss a car across the city with one hand, that would be enough. I turned into an alley, letting my body slid down into the feutal position next to a stack of news papers. What could I do that would expose us and ensue a quick death? My thoughts were interrupted by the familiar burning sensation in my throat. I smirked; maybe this doesn't have to be so complicated, I'm sure they don't allow hunting in their city.

I circled through the streets for an hour, trying to find the best victim, but every time I got close I backed down. I couldn't do it this way. I wouldn't hurt any humans, for Bella and Carlisle's sakes. I returned to my spot in the alley, burring my head in my arms. What now? I sighed and pulled one of the papers into my lap scanning the front page. My eyes were drawn to a head line in the center of the page reading: "Blue sky's for Saint Marcus Day!"

My eyes widened, that was it. A quick, simple way to expose vampires without hurting anyone. The first smile to cross my face since Rosalie's call appeared. Oh this is going to be good.

I decided to walk out into the sunlight at exactly noon, in the middle of the Main Square. Might as well make a show of it, hopefully they'll get it done quicker. I arrived at the Main Square hours before noon. It didn't take me very long to decide where to walk out, right in the center underneath the Clock Tower. I stood silently, unmoving until it was time. My thoughts fixed only on her. I relived every moment of my time with her in those few hours. Her memories were so strong it almost felt as if she where there with me. I smiled, if Carlisle was right soon I would see her, and I would never leave her again. But I knew this wasn't true. Even if there was an after life for us I would surely go to hell. After all the terrible things I'd done and pain I'd caused people.

The bell began to toll. I took a deep breath. I felt peaceful, I was at one with what I was about to do. I had the sensation that somehow taking my life would pay for all the horrible things I'd caused. I prided my self in the fact that soon no one would ever be hurt again because of me. I thought of Bella, a vision of her in her prom dress filled my head, I smiled.

I love you Bella.

I raised my foot, ready to walk in to the sunlight gleaming down, I leaned my body in.

Then the sent of freesia crashed into me like a tidal wave.

**There you have it, read and review please! I know it was short and sort of choppy, but i was anxious to reunite Bella and Edward. So next chap on will be all BxE goodness. :**

**please please pease review!**

**--Ashley**


	3. Reunited

**Wow! I got way more response to chapter one than I expected! Thank you to everyone who put Agony on their alert list & reviewed! Much love to you all :**

**MAJOR DISCLAMER: ALL the dialogue in this chapter is strait from new moon. I didn't make up any of it. Every single word spoken came strait from Stephenie Meyer's head**

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I might not have noticed she'd slammed into me if her overwhelming aroma hadn't enveloped me. My arms shot out clutching her to my chest. My once racing thoughts were gone, replaced by the feeling of a body so familiar to me it seemed at if it were made to fit my embrace.

My _Bella._ My only love.

I slowly opened my eyes, although I knew it could be no one else, I was still amazed to see her face. Her beautiful glowing face, here in my arms. Now I _know _I'm dead.

"Amazing," I murmured. How could I have ever doubted Carlisle? This was a much more wonderful heaven than I had imagined.

"Carlisle was right." I told her. My eyes flowed over her body. I felt complete, like part of my soul, once missing had been returned to me. She said something but I wasn't listening, I was too busy absorbing as much of her into my brain as I could. I brushed my hand against her cheek. Her skin felt hot under my touch, just the way I remembered. My body felt reborn, the joy and emotion I felt in that moment was indescribable. I may be dead, but I was with her. That was all that mattered. I gazed into her simmering brown eyes and I cursed myself again. _How _did I have the control to leave her?

"I can't believe how quick it was, I didn't feel a thing—"to think I had ever doubted their abilities. "They're very good." I closed my eyes and pressed my face into her hair inhaling deeply: strawberry, just as it was before. Her aroma in death was just as sweet as it had been alive.

"Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty." I recited. I chuckled on the inside. I wondered if, even dead, I could dazzle her. I inhaled again, smelling her intoxicating sent.

"You smell just exactly the same as always. So maybe this _is _hell. I don't care. I'll take it." I would take anything if it meant being with her. I was aware of a faint bell toll in the background, but I ignored it.

"I'm not dead, and neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move." Her words came spilling from her mouth. This confused me; Bella never had been one to talk fast.

"They can't be far away!" I frowned, she sounded frightened. Why would she be scared, I was here. We were together. Nothing could be wrong.

"What was that?" I smiled at her.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—"

All at once everything fell into place. As if a light bulb had been turned on above my head I understood. I understood the reason for her panic and pleading, why she smelled so good. I was alive. And so was Bella.

_Damn!_

Before I had time to process what had just dawned on me I heard the sinister thoughts of Felix in my head. I spun Bella back against the old stone walls, pressing myself against her. As long as I was here they _would not _touch her.

Comprehension flowed through my head, she had never died. Alice saw me committing suicide, rushed to tell Bella, and then she rushed off to Italy to save me. Now we're at the clutches of the Volturi, and Bella's in danger. Because of me.

_Damn it! _I have to get us out of here.

"Greetings gentlemen, I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much however if you were to send my thanks to your masters." I said.

I knew it was a long shot asking them to let us leave, but it was worth it if it meant Bella would be safe. I winced as I heard their reaction, they wanted to go inside. This wasn't good.

"No bring the girl," That vile being called. A flash of anger tore through my body.

"I don't think so." I flexed my muscles, shifting my position in front of her. Bella began to say something but I shushed her. _Please _let her be silent.

We argued back and forth for a while, I knew I wasn't doing myself any good by going against them, but it didn't matter.

_You hoo backup's here, Edward. _

Let it not be true.

I heard her thought so clearly, my head whipped around. Sure enough there was Alice.

"Let's behave ourselves shall we? There are ladies present." I groaned internally. Bella _and _Alice were here. Both were in danger. There was no way the Volturi would surpass this. I was about to grab Bella and make a run for it, but I stopped.

"Enough." Jane. It was over now; Felix knew it judging by the smirk on his face. I had no choice but to do as I was told. I wouldn't go against Jane, not with Bella present. I let my arms drop to my side.

"Jane."

"Follow me," she turned and sauntered off down the alley. I wrapped my arm around Bella's waste, I wouldn't leave her side. We were together again, and I would never do anything to change that. It pained me to see the quizzical look on her face, I knew she was about to ask me something but I shook my head.

In a weak attempt to distract her I started up a conversation with Alice. I asked her what happened, her answer surprised me.

"Bella's all about the extreme sports these days." Alice's thoughts showed me flashes of motorcycles, werewolves, and a horrible image of Bella plunging into the ocean. My cold heart seemed to throb at this, my poor angel. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. This was not the way we were supposed to be reunited. I wanted to ask her so much, and explain everything to her. I shuddered in my skin. I realized I might never get the chance to do that…

As soon as Alice disappeared down the drain I felt Bella stiffen beside me.

"It's alright Bella." I heard her heart flutter when I said her name. She was terrified, her whole body was clammy. I tried to lower her into the hole as gently as I could. Once Alice safely caught her I jumped in. It had only been half a second but I wanted to get back to her. When I landed I put my arm around her shoulders. Her frail arms wound their way around my waste, leaving a burning sensation through my torso. I could feel soft bruises forming on her skin from Alice's solid grip. I would have to talk to her about that later, if there was a later.

I wanted more. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, touch her, but I restrained. I settled with holding her pale face. I traced the out line of all her features, pressing my lips to her hair occasionally as we walked along the damp passageway. It felt rejuvenating to be with her again. I felt my body radiating in happiness, even Alice has stopped thinking hate messages to me to comment on how happy we looked together.

I kissed Bella's forehead. I yearned to tell her everything would be okay, that we would make it out safely and I would never leave her again. I needed her to know that. Her heart was beating wildly out of control; I knew the tunnel's downward spiral was terrifying her. I smoothed my hands across her face trying to calm her. I felt her shivering beneath my arms. I caressed her, trying to generate warmth.

Once we stepped through the wooden entrance into the Volturi's residence I felt Bella relax at the familiar surroundings. I tightened my jaw. If only she had a reason to be relaxed.

**Allrighty there it is! I hope you liked it, as always review please!! It will be a little longer untill the next chap is up because i need to finish writing my other fic. But who knows, the more reviews I get the faster I'll write. ;**

**Ashley**


	4. The Volturi

**A/N: Yes I am aware that it has almost been a year. Yes I am aware that is much too long! I am so so sorry everyone! Some times life gets in the way. But alas here is the next chap! And I have the next few written so updates will come very soon! Also check out my new story "Ride moocher" **

**Disclamer: nope. Still don't own Twilight**

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I despise the Volturi, such evil, disgusting creatures. One thing I will never understand is how Carlisle respects them. The way they taunt Gianna makes me _sick. _I pushed Felix's raunchy thoughts out of my head.

"Welcome back Edward. You seem in a better mood." The latest attribution to our growing party, Alec, said.

"Marginally." I was in no mood for chatting.

_Hmm I can see why he finds the human so appealing. Her scent is breathtaking. I can only imagine how savoury her blood must taste. When this is all over…_

"Dibs," Felix called.

I growled turning to face him. How dare him, after his thoughts about Gianna to think of my Bella like that. My feelings of despise were growing with each passing minute.

Felix beckoned me towards him. _Fight for her_, he taunted me. I thought about how easy it would be. I knew I was much more skilled, I could rip him to shreds in a second. I felt a hand on my arm.

"Patience," Alice warned me. _Come now Edward, this is what they want, for you to snap. That gives them an excuse to kill us, all of us. _She glanced at Bella. I rolled my eyes slightly before glaring at Alec. I looked down at Bella as we set off again. My poor angel, I knew she was confused. There was nothing I wanted to do more the wrap her in my arms and explain. Explain the Volturi and my inexcusable behaviour six months ago. I longed to hold her, to lay in our meadow, just the two of us. My fingers twitched. They felt empty now that her fingers had detangled themselves from mine. I looked at her frail frame. In this moment, surrounded by vicious monsters I was reminded that she was just a collection of working parts, which could easily stop or be stopped at any moment. We entered the "thrown room" and I noticed the gathering had thinned considerably since yesterday when I'd begged for death. My eyes scanned the room searching for their leader. I found him, his long robe covering his skin from the light pouring in through the tall windows.

"Jane dear, you've returned!" Aro exclaimed. Though I despised the Volturi Aro at least was durable. He wasn't as much a monster as others in his coven. Beside me I could sense Bella's bewilderment at the scene unfolding before us. I couldn't help but smile the slightest bit as she gawked at Aro and Jane's exchange.

"And Alice and Bella too!" The smile disappeared. "This _is_ a happy surprise! Wonderful!" I could see the wonder in his eyes as he took in Bella. I quickly kissed the top of her head while Aro spoke to Felix. I sighed in relief as Felix floated out the door, letting it fall softly behind him. I felt the atmosphere relax a little. Aro turned and grinned at me.

"You see Edward, what did I tell you? Aren't you glad I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?" I would forever be grateful that Aro had denied me. I pulled Bella toward me, feeling her rest he head quietly on my shoulder.

"Yes Aro, I am."

"I love a happy ending." Aro appeared truly happy at our reunion. He turned to Alice and began questioning her. I had forgotten how good a liar Alice was. Her facial expression was calm and at ease, but her thoughts betrayed her feelings of anger.

"You see," Aro spoke to Alice. "I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way he is not." There was envy dripping from every word.

_Edward? _Alice questioned me confused. Her eyes widened as I explained. She was shocked to find another coven with "talents".

"But to be able to hear from a distance that would be so _convenient_." Aro stopped, looking over our shoulders. I cringed as Felix returned with Marcus and Caius swiftly at his side. All three looked sour upon seeing Bella and I. I suppressed the urge to take a snap at them, I carefully pulled Bella closer to me.

Suddenly I heard Marcus' thoughts flowing so fast it was difficult even for me to comprehend everything. _NO! That's impossible! Such a strong bond…they truly would die for one another. Impossible! She's a human girl! How can he resist? No! He would rather die before he drinks her blood? I've never seen anything like it. Impossible…_

I snorted as I watched him transfer his thoughts to Aro. _Edward you're laughing? _Alice thought. I just smirked at her.

"It takes quite a lot to surprise Marcus I can assure you." Aro spoke. I bore my eyes into Marcus'. _There's a first time for everything. _Aro continued, "How can you stand so close to her?"

"It's not without effort." Effort I long ago mastered.

"But still, _la tua cante! _What a waste." My insides lurched. Bella was not a waste; she was a miracle, a high costing miracle.

"I think of it more as a price." A price worth everything paid.

"Most of us would long for such a gift and yet you…"

"Waste it." I longed for him to know that I wasn't wasting it. That I was enjoying every moment I had with her.

My patience had run its course. I'd played good, answered Aro's questions, and not killed Felix. Now all I wanted to do was take Bella away, somewhere warn and safe.

Aro's thoughts had turned in the opposite direction admirably fast.

"Just remembering how she appeals to you makes me thirsty." A flash of Bella's mangled body; her sweet blood on his lips entered his head. I tensed. I knew Alice felt the tensions, for he fists were balled at her side.

"Don't be disturbed." _I cannot help myself Edward. I shall not harm the girl. _Some how I couldn't quite believe him.

"May I?" Aro asked. _I would love to see this from her view. _

"Ask her." My poor, sweet angel's heart sped up and stuttered in her chest. The pounding of her blood wasn't doing anything for the thirsty vampires in the room.

It alarmed me to hear her little heart beating faster than I'd ever heard before. Her wide brown eyes looked up at me, terrified. I knew there was a place for her. Deep within my soul, that in it's self was a whole world entirely. That world thrashed against my inner being, longing to comfort her. In my self control all I could manage was a weak nod. I watched as Aro glided towards her, a long arm extended. Bella quivered but met his grasp. A ripple of jealousy rushed through me. What is he could hear her? What is she was only immune to me and he could hear her every thought.

Thoughts that I'd tried to comprehend from facial expression and body language. Her precious thoughts I wanted so badly to hear. I stared at him, jealousy numbing my senses. Finally Aro's face faltered and his eyes narrowed. I let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't hear her either.

As I listened to Aro's ponderings I felt smug. He was dumbfounded, never before in all his years had he come across someone who was immune to his powers.

"I wonder if she is immune to another talent…Jane, dear?"

The smugness disappeared.

"No!" I shouted, my eyes narrowed as I glared at Aro. I felt the monster inside me rumble to life. It gnawed inside emitting low growls. I ignored Felix's gloating thoughts, concentrating on Aro and Jane.

"I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to you." I unleashed a portion of my inner beast. It charged full force towards Jane, launching my body into the air, only to be abruptly slammed to the ground.

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**A/N: I hope that made up for lost time! Sorry again! As always, read, rant and review!**


	5. Decisions

**A/N Enjoy this chapter! I really like it, but I must say the reunion chapter is my favorite :) This is another shortish one, sorry! Next chap will be way longer I promise!**

The pain smashed in to me like an atomic bomb and had me writhing on the stone floor. My body felt like it was being struck by lightning and run over at the same time. The pain started at my feet and travelled up to my head, little electric shocks zapping my insides as they rolled though my body. Not only was the physical pain unbearable but the emotional torture as well. The searing burn ricocheting though my body was numbed by the pictures flashing though my mind. Bella seducing another man, my family being torn and burned, Bella committing suicide, Bella telling me she didn't love me…The torture swelled and intensified, I lost all control of my thoughts and body. I couldn't even cry out in torment. I just saw Bella's dead body sprawled across the floor, her piercing eyes blank and glossy. I could feel my body convulsing but the image wouldn't evaporate. This misery was nothing compared to the sight of Bella's mangled body.

I heard someone crying out to me in the distance, but my mind and body were still too far gone to react. Once more the pain worsened, and just as I was certain it had killed me it came to an abrupt stop. The pain slowly left my body and my head cleared. I looked up my eyes immediately finding Bella. She was staring at me, her mouth agape but slightly covered by her hand. Her eyes were round and more scared and horrified than I had ever seen. I jumped to my feet slightly light headed. Alice was grasping Bella around the waste, as if she had been fighting against her. She stared at Jane aghast.

Jane's eyes were narrowed and now transfixed on Bella. I gaped at Jane, then Bella and then back to Jane. No. No no no no no. Please let it not work. The room was silent as we all watched and waited. I braced my self to tear into Jane if Bella so much as whimpered. Suddenly Jane's hands fell to her side and she took a few steps back, fuming. I almost fell over in relief, nothing happened, Jane's torture did not have an effect on Bella. In an instant I was at her side. Alice released Bella and she collapsed into my arms. I wrapped her in a tight embrace, holding her as close to me as possible. She trembled against my body, hiding her face in my shirt.

Now Aro's laughter filled the room, along with Jane's hissing. Aro tried to comfort Jane but she snapped at him. I glared at them disgusted. After a few moments Aro spoke.

"So what do we do now?" I tensed,this would either go very right or very wrong. Surely Bella had intrigued the Voulturi enough that they would spare her. "Your talent, Edward, would be an excellent addition to our company."

"I'd rather not." Aro shrugged and turned to Alice who declined as well.

"And you Bella?" Bella's trembles grew more violent. I hissed, how dare they suggest that.

"Can you imagine the possibilities when she's one of us?" I was fuming. Bella would remain a human. There would be no talk of talents, for she wasn't going to be changed.

"No thank you." Bella squeaked. I winced as she spoke.

"That's unfortunate. Such a waste."

That infuriated me. "Join or die, is that it?" Filthy lying creatures.

"Of course not!" Aro sputtered.

"Aro the law claims them," Caius barked.

"How so?" I demanded.

Caius jabbed his finger in Bella's direction.

"She knows too much, you have exposed our secrets! If she betrays our secrets are you prepared to destroy her? I think not. Nor do you intend to make her one of us. Only her life if forfeit, you may leave if you wish."

I growled deep within my chest. He knew the answer to that.

"Unless you do intend to give her immortality?" Aro said.

Crap. They had me pinned in a corner. This is what Aro had wanted all along. TO change her so he can see what kind of talents she would have.

_It is what Bella wants, think about it Edward. Eternity with Bella. _Alice's thoughts floated towards me.

"And if I do?"

"Why then you would be free to go, but I'm afraid you would have to mean it." I looked down at Bella, her pleading eyes stared up into mine.

"Mean it," her beautiful voice whispered. "Please."

Before I could say anything Alice moved towards Aro, extending her hand towards his. I let out a breath; I knew what she was doing. She was going to show Aro the visions she'd had so long ago. Visions of Bella and me, married and vampires. Minutes passed, I rolled my eyes. Alice was showing Aro every vision of Bella and mines future together as vampires.

Finally Alice relaxed and Aro smiled. "That was fascinating! Yes, yes it's quite determined, certainly there's no problem."

"Then we are free to go now?" I asked.

"Yes, yes, but please visit again." Aro chirped.

"And we will visit you as well," Caius promised. I groaned inwardly, of course they would.

Felix was groaning now. Heidi would return soon with their dinner. Bella couldn't see that. See my kind viciously killing innocent humans.

"Let's go," I said urgently.

Demteri motioned to us and we swiftly followed. I held Bella close to my side, half pulling her we were moving so fast.

"Not fast enough," Alice murmured. I quickened my pace. We could hear their voices now, chattering on like the tourists they were.

I heard Aro arrive, and I pulled Bella's face into my chest. The screams started as I pushed Bella into the lobby, tears streaming down her face as I closed the door behind us.

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	6. Freedom

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A/N: Three chapters in 2 weeks, ya'll should be proud!

"Are you all right?" I asked, all ready knowing the answer. Bella was practically convulsing in my arms. My cold heart ached every time a ripping sob emitted from her chest. "Shh, Bella shh." I caressed her hair as I carried her over to the sofa, laying her across my lap.

"I think she's having hysterics, maybe you should slap her," Alice said. I threw her a look, thanks for stating the obvious Mrs. I-can-see-the-future. I scoffed at the idea of laying a finger on my Bella. My poor sweet angel has seen so much today, it's a wonder her heart hasn't stopped dead in her chest.

"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right." I murmured in attempt to comfort her. She was shivering now. Alice handed me a cloak and I wrapped it around her, shielding her from my cold skin. I continued to hold her and stroke her hair, whispering that everything would be okay. Eventually her shaking stopped, and she just sobbed quietly into my chest. She cried for all the poor innocent people being killed for no reason. They had done nothing wrong, simply fallen into a trap. "I wish you hadn't had to see that," I told her. Just one more thing I could add to my ever growing list of mistakes and regrets.

Bella took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. I rubbed circles on the small of her back with my thumb. If only Jasper were here… I realized how much I took his abilities for granted. Bella's sobs stopped and she blinked up at me, there were tears caught on her lower lashes and the circles under her eyes were slightly green. I could tell that she was about to say something so I stared at her expectantly.

It took her a few moments but she finally opened her mouth and cried "Oh, Edward!" Suddenly she was sobbing again. She flung her arms around my neck, startling me. My shirt was growing damp from her fresh tears. I glanced at Alice but she looked just as alarmed as me.

"What's wrong?" I patted her back.

"Is it wrong for me to be happy right now?" She sniffled, her voice broke twice.

I pulled her closer to me, tighter than I should have.

"I know exactly what you mean." I whispered. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive." If only barely.

"Yes, that's a good one." She nodded.

"And together." Finally, after a long and painful absence, we were together. And together we will be, for now that she has returned to my arms, I do not have any intentions of letting her go.

"And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow."

"The outlook is quite good." Alice said, a smile crept into her face. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours." I glanced at her, trying to give her a look of gratitude.

_Don't worry Edward. Yours and Bella's safety is enough repayment. We missed her too you know. _I gave her a curt nod and lowered my eyes to Bella's. She was staring up at me intently, lost in thought. A flash of guilt ran through me when I saw how gaunt and exhausted her face appeared.

"You look so tired." I said, tracing the lines on her face.

"And you look thirsty."

"It's nothing." And really it wasn't. In fact I felt more in control of my thirst than I had since I left her. The burning in the back of the throat was nothing more than an annoying pang.

"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice," she offered.

"Don't be ridiculous." I scoffed. Even if I was desperately thirsty, it would be impossible for me to leave Bella now. Very much impossible, even the thought of leaving her only for a moment made my stomach churn. No, I would not leave her side.

She lay quietly in my arms while Alice and I spoke about what had passed with the Volturi. After several hours we were permitted to leave, through the front entrance thankfully. I don't think Bella would have been able to take another trek through the underground.

I only relaxed once we had exited the castle and were out in the streets. The roads were still full of half-drunk people dressed in long dark cloaks, shiny plastic fangs and painted white faces, some with a drabble of what I assumed to be their best attempt at blood coming out of the corners of their mouths.

"Ridiculous," I muttered. It was these kinds of prejudices that kept vampires in hiding.

I pulled Bella though the crowd out to where Alice was waiting for us in a stolen car.

"Sorry," she gestured towards the vehicle. "There wasn't much to choose from."

"Its fine Alice, they can't all be 911 Turbos." I grinned at her.

"I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous."

"I'll get you one for Christmas." After what she did today she deserved it.

_You're too good to me Edward, but if you insist I won't say no. _I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yellow." She said, smirking. I lowered myself into the car and pulled Bella once more onto my lap.

"You can sleep now, Bella." Poor angel, she was so exhausted. I could tell by the way her body was slumped against mine that she wouldn't stay awake much longer.

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired." As she spoke her eye lids began to fall, I kissed her forehead gently.

"You're still just as stubborn." Some how, against my better judgement she managed to stay awake, though I knew it was difficult. Once we were relaxed in the car I was able to look her over. I could see some distinct differences in her physique from when I'd last seen her. Her body seemed thinner and frailer, almost as if she was recovering from a strong illness. There were dark circles under her eyes that rivalled mine and her face looked gaunt. Although her hair had never been especially think and lustrous it hung limp around her petite face. I wondered what had happened to cause such a toll on her body. Perhaps school had been difficult this year? Or could it be Charlie? Dozens of excuses came to my mind, but I knew none of them were true. I swallowed and pushed the thoughts out of my mind, I would discuss it with her later.

* * *

On the plane from Rome to Atlanta Bella ordered a coke which disturbed me. Bella must be really trying not to fall asleep if she's resorting to caffeen. I frowned at her, why would she not want to rest? The point of exhaustion she was at could not be healthy for a human. She noticed my disapproving stare and sighed.

"I don't want to fall asleep. If I close my eyes now, I'll see thing I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares."

This shocked me. I stared at her aghast, but she was looking through an in flight magazine. Bella was having nightmares? This was why she didn't want to fall asleep, because she was afraid? I pinched the bridge of my nose and exhaled. I could tell she wouldn't want to talk about what haunted her dreams, so I stayed silent. I spent the flight holding her in my arms and looking disapprovingly upon her copious refills. Perhaps Alice's sweet murmurings to Jasper on the phone behind us had me feeling romantic, but I simply couldn't keep my eyes off her. I traced and retraced the bones on her face, her eyes, her ears, her lips. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her shoulders, her arms. It was as if I was making up for all the months apart. Every time I kissed her I felt her familiar warmth resting on my lips.

The flight was smooth, and once we landed I braced myself for the welcoming party I knew would be waiting. Alice immediately rushed to Jaspers side, and Esme crashed into me. I could see the gratitude and remorse on her face. Her eyes swelled with emotion. I hung my head in shame, what I had put my family throught was despicable. The more time I spent with Bella, the more ashamed I became of what I let happen.

"You will never put me thought that again." She growled at me.

"Sorry mom," I said not meeting her eyes. I knew this had been hard on her.

"She's dead on her feet, let's get her home."

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Either Carlisle had called, or he heard the car, because Charlie was outside waiting when we pulled up to the Swan house. I felt a small warmth inside of me as I looked up at Bella's bedroom window. The large familiar tree stoop outside the house, with the long branch hanging close enough to the window that there wasn't much of a jump required to enter her room. It felt strange being back in Forks. Every thing looked normal, as it had when I left, but at the same time it all felt different. The rain started falling a little harder and I pulled the hood of Bella's jacket down over her head.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted. Bella stirred in my arms trying to mutter something.

"Shh, it's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep." I whispered to her.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here.' Charlie bellowed at me. His face was turning purple with rage. I winced at his thoughts, I had never known Charlie to be a violent man, but I had my doubts now. Bella attempted to say something but all that came out was a gurgle of meshed up words.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie demanded.

"She's just very tired sir." I said politely. Charlie fumed and tried to pry her from my arms but Bella gasped and latched onto my shirt, refusing to let go. I sighed and carried her upstairs into her roon, despite Charlie's protests. I tried setting her on her feet but she swayed and I caught her before she hit the ground

"I won't be far," I whispered to her. I pried her fingers off my shirt, lucky I was a vampire, if I had been human I would have been left with nail marks in my skin. I softly laid her under the covers and found that she was asleep before her sweet head hit the pillow. I stood there for a moment, watching her chest rise up and down, until Charlie coughed from the door way. I sighed and followed him down the stairs.

"So are you back for good?" Charlie asked. I simply nodded and tried to make my self look tired. He took a long look at me before sighing and motioning me towards the door.

"I'm tired and we both need sleep. But don't think this is over boy." He growled. "We _will_ talk about what happened here."

Once again all I could do was nod and close the door behind me as I exited. I walked towards Emmett and Rosalie, waiting in the convertible on the street. I paused, looking back at Bella's bedroom once more before I got in and closed the door.

"Let Charlie go to bed then you can come back." Rosalie said softly. "Besides I think we all need to talk before you go locking yourself up in Bella's house."

I sighed and leaned back; trying to clear my head, but Bella's face still swam beneath my eye lids.

"Hey Edward," Emmett chirped. I opened my eyes and saw that he was looking at me though the rear view mirror. "It's good to have you back." He face was as serious as I had ever seen it.

_I mean it._ He thought. I smiled at him before turning around to catch a final glimpse at Bella's house before it disappeared into the trees. The sky was pink behind it, and I couldn't help but notice as a light switched off in the small window over looking the front yard. I smiled, I would see Bella again in a few hours, and until then Charlie would be awake pondering the strange circumstances surrounding his daughter. Today was a new day, a new dawn, and I planned to take complete control of this new beginning.

**A/N: I'm not sure how many chapters to make, should I just make an epilogue or continue through to the end of new moon?**

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	7. Bonus Chap: Consequences

**A/N: So i have decided this will be the last chapter. Really the story ended in the chapter before this, but I couldn't just leave it hanging so this is a little bonus chap. Its not really relevant, just a little extra something. Sorry if it's stupid. :) Enjoy!**

I felt a rush of euphoria as we rounded the corner, came out of the trees and into the familiar clearing. All the lights in the house were on and there was small pile of empty boxes on the front porch.

"Looks like Esme's got most everything moved back in." I noted.

"Well she had to keep herself busy doing something while you were on your little suicide mission." Emmett said. "If you had- you know- done it, we were all planning on moving back."

This surprised me, if the Volturi had killed me they would have moved back here?

"Forks was really the only place we've ever been happy, the only thing keeping us away was you." Rosalie snapped. "Now that you're alive you're not going to make us move after we just got settled in are you?" She glared at me through the rear view mirror.

"Shesh Rose, way to be insensitive." Emmett mumbled.

I sighed, as cruel as Rosalie's words had been, she was right. Forks had been the only place where we could live a relatively normal life and be happy. But she needn't worry. Not even the Volturi could pull me away from this town now.

"It's okay Rose, I'm not going anywhere."

She looked at me for a long moment, then nodded and got out of the car. I sighed and followed suit, trudging up the front steps into the house. I was barley inside when I felt something hard and cold hit my cheek. I reared back and saw Esme standing livid in front of me.

"Don't," slap. "You," slap. "Ever," slap. "Do that to me again." I stared at her aghast. Her face was flushed and her eyes were narrowed.

"Don't think what you did isn't going to come without consequences. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE, EDWARD! DIE!" She bellowed. Her voice was causing the windows to tremble. Do you have any idea what it's like for a mother to believe her child is in danger, much less dying? And for no apparent cause?"

Her body shook with anger, her chest heaved in and out. My cheek was stinging slightly. I glanced around me, Rosalie and Emmett were stopped in the doorway, both with an expression of shock on their faces, and Emmett's mouth was hanging open. Jasper and Alice were perched on the stairs; Alice was covering her giggles with her hand.

_Carlisle's on his way._ She thought.

Esme opened her mouth about to say something when the back door flew open and Carlisle was immediately by Esme's side, pulling her hand away from my face.

"What is going on?" He growled.

"Edwards in trouble," Emmett snickered. Esme snarled at him and he took a step back.

"I'm just letting Edward know that there will be consequences to his actions." Esme said. Suddenly her eyes softened and filled with emotion. She broke free from Carlisle's arms and rushed towards me. I braced myself for another attack, but found myself caught in her embrace instead.

"Please don't scare me like that again Edward. Please." She whispered. I relaxed and hugged her.

"I'm sorry Esme, I really am."

She sighed and pulled away, scrutinizing my cheek.

"I'm not sorry for what I did to you." She said flatly. "Quite frankly you deserved it." With that she turned away and pulled Carlisle into the kitchen with her.

We all stood still for a moment, stunned by what had just occured. Never in all my years had I ever seen Esme so angry. Not when Emmett smashed through three houses in a row, or when Alice threw all Esme's clothes away in an attempt to modernize her closet, or even when Jasper and I ruined her whole garden while wrestling.

"Women," Emmett muttered, we all laughed and the tension was broken. Thanks to Jasper I felt a sense of calm rush over me. I slowly made my way up to my room, taking my time on each step. I entered my room to find a pile of boxes marked "Edward" littering the floor. I felt a presence behind me and I turned to see Alice perched on a box by the door. She hesitated but stood up and walked over to me.

"Your not going to leave again, are you?" She whispered. "I don't think anyone, Bella nor us, could take it." Her wide, honey colored eyes bore into me. I was sure she was searching my future for any sign of departure.

"I think it's physically impossible for me to leave her now. I can see my absence was hard on her, perhaps as hard as it was for me. Now that we have been reunited, now that I have held her in my arms again, it will be impossible for me to leave her. She's my world Alice, with out her I am nothing. Bella is my everything, what I live for. She's all the good there is in this world bundled up into one adorable package…of course there is the possibility she won't want me any more…and if she doesn't I will completely understand. I mean after what I put her through I-"

"Edward, shut up!" Alice screeched. "Trust me she wants you. She wants you more than you know." She patted my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. For now just worry about getting all this junk unpacked, tomorrow afternoon you can go over to Bella's, she won't be awake but there a good deal Charlie needs to say to you and it's probably better if Bella's asleep during it."

I chuckled and hugged Alice.

"Thanks Alice, you know I really missed you."

"I missed you too Edward, a lot."

"Hey do you want to help me unpack?"

"Sorry Edward I didn't miss you that much," she turned and gracefully twirled out of the room. I laughed, watching her go. I walked over to the window and looked out, Emmett and Carlisle were moving a patio table out to the centre of the garden. It was morning now, the clouds were already turning a deep grey. Just like usual, it would rain today in Forks, but inside I had never felt more radiant.

**The End.**

**Lameee last line I know ;) Review and tell me what my next story should be!**


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